we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
