Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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