She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
