i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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