Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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