She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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