i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.