I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
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Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.