Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
