If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
