You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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