I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we're so committed to being not committed
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
