so explain again why im purple
no
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
