All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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