Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
