i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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