Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
