How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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