It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
third nipple confirmed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
