Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
