Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
