You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
