one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
