Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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