This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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