Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
