she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
