his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
