just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
whose ass print is on the piano?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
