I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
