just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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