Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
