Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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