Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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