I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
