I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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