so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
