shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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