I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
