did you get engaged???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
