sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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