Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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