I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
