I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
