we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
