Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
