What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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