I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
