You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
