Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
