It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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