I want to make a zoo with you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
