you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you would pick up someone in the library
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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