so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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