A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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