how can u be prego again
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
