I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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