i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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