i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
