thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
