Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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