Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
