LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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