i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
