Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My life is pants optional.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
