I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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