he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
