It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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